Mac and Me really isn’t a movie. It’s a one and a half hours of advertising.

A few years ago, one of my close friends and I were looking online for a quick laugh. We found this short video of a weird ET rip off named “Mac and Me.”

When I was looking through movies to review, I suddenly remembered this movie. So, the same friend and I promptly sat down this month and watched the movie we had discovered before.

What we saw was far worse than we ever could have imagined. The movie starts off on a planet full of these weird, fake looking aliens. Every time these ‘aliens’ are shown, it looks completely ridiculous.

Also, the world is full of Coca-Cola. The alien dad sticks a straw into the planet and starts drinking the Coke out from under the crust. This, only like 30 seconds in, is the first case of awful advertising in the movie. The aliens will literally die if they don’t drink enough Coke.

So, this weird rover lands on the Coke planet, sucks the aliens up, and flies back to Earth. And just like that, the breathtaking epic Mac and Me begins.

The next scene has a few scientists inspecting the weird rover thing. The aliens pop out and just kinda meander out of the building. Nobody really tries to stop them, they just kind of walk out. But, in all the wackiness of the aliens walking away, the smallest alien “Mac” gets lost.

Mac falls into the car of our human protagonists, Eric and Michael. Michael is Eric’s older brother who loves to skateboard, drink Coke, and meet sick babes. Eric is in a wheelchair.

Their mom, Janet, is moving to a new house in California because of her new big job. We find out later that her big job that she had to move for was to be a cashier at Sears. Also, her husband is dead.

Once they get to their new house, Eric starts to see Mac walking around. Eric tries to let his parent and brother know that there is this alien walking about, but of course nobody believes him except for his neighbor.

This would be cool, except his neighbor is a girl! Ew, cooties! Eric quickly brushes his neighbor off and continues to try to find Mac. Then, there is a few scenes where Mac ruins stuff in the house and it gets blamed on Eric.

Eric keeps telling people that it’s actually an alien causing the damage, but for some reason people won’t believe him. They end up calling a doctor in, and in a very serious and kind of sad scene, Eric is diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

But, fortune starts to shine on Eric when he finally corners Mac and proceeds to follow him. While following, Eric loses control and falls off a cliff. Don’t be sad though, Mac uses his magic Coca-Cola powers to levitate Eric and save his life.

After Mac saves Eric, Mac starts communicating with him. Eric then traps Mac and sucks him inside a vacuum cleaner. Now Mac is his own personal plaything, in which he could do with as he pleases.

So to hide Mac in public, Eric sticks him inside a Bear suit and pretends like he’s a hyper realistic toy. Then, Eric takes his new toy to the coolest place in town, the local McDonald’s.

This scene has got to be my favorite in the movie. There is a choreographed dance where Bear Mac busts a move in the McDonalds. Here at this wonderful McDonald’s, Mac replenishes himself with a cold refreshing Coke.

Do you see what I’m saying about the advertising getting in the way of the plot? The movie is full of stupid, inconsequential scenes like this where the only purpose is to advertise. They go to KMart and get all this brand name food, and it leaves the viewer wondering, what’s the point?

I can go on and on about the plot in the movie, but there really isn’t that much more. It’s all just advertisements until the end. If you really care about what happens, Mac finds his family, they drink Coke, and become U.S. citizens. In the end, the ‘movie’ is a whole bunch of nothing. No plot, no purpose, just a quick cash grab after the success of ET.

I love watching bad movies. I have had movies in the past I would recommend to people if they want a laugh (Cool Cat, Book of Henry, anything Neil Breen) but I find it hard for me to recommend this one.

Sure, this movie will have its moments, like the dancing at McDonald’s scene and the mountain falling scene, but in the end it’s just nothing. A nothing movie with a nothing plot that nobody will remember.