The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

What Exactly is Christmas Food?

What+Exactly+is+Christmas+Food%3F

Halloween has candy, Thanksgiving has turkey, even the Fourth of July has its signature BBQ’s… but what about Christmas?

I feel like this needs to be done. There needs to be a definitive list brought about by a consensus which clearly states what is ‘official’ food which we eat on December 24th.

Think about it, every other holiday, pretty much everyone eats the same foods as each other but Christmas is a different story. Everyone is different and none of them exactly make sense.

Some people opt for the traditional honey-baked ham, I got to admit that this is a solid option, although a safe one. You can’t go wrong with it, but it won’t exactly turn any heads. And at the end of the day, who doesn’t wanna show up their lame cousins with some great food?

Now we hit the bird category, I’m looking at you fans of A Christmas Story. I just want to say outright that duck or goose or whatever it is just gross. This should not be an option. I’m not the biggest hater of the meat itself but pheasant doesn’t exactly scream Christmas cheer if you know what I’m saying.

Then we hit the Italians. Usually, they blow away the competition when it comes to food, but seven fishes…really? Seven. That’s just overkill. I think like one is enough, two is being safe, three is pushing it, but seven is a different breed here. Step it up Italians.

I’m sick of entrees. I failed here. I can’t think of a great option for dinner. I would recommend penguin but that just isn’t feasible despite its deliciousness.

You know what makes Christmas extra special to me? The desserts. That’s the real reason I’m writing this. I just want to hype myself up for whatever is gonna be coming out around 9:45 on December 24th this year.

Let me just start by saying I know the desserts at my family’s Christmas are not orthodox by any means, but, I think they should pretty much be the standard for everyone.

I’m half Italian. That means we don’t go full seven fish dinner but we do get one great food: pizzelles. It’s basically a type of really thin cookie and it’s phenomenal. They’re not big but I’m not lying when I say I can down 40 on a good year.

Then we hit the pies. But these aren’t your standard pies. There’s chocolate mousse pie. There’s peanut butter pie. It’s a good time start to finish.

We also have some homemade toffee and shortbread which will just hit you in your heart when you first taste it.

I’d be a war criminal if I didn’t mention our cookies. I’ll admit our chocolate chip cookies need some work. Santa NEVER finishes them but we also make some cut-out sugar cookies that always get finished. I personally think the reindeer ones taste the best but that’s neither here nor there.

Let me take a second to say that as great as peppermint bark is, it’s just not enough of a food to eat with the others. I also am grossed out by most fruit cakes and don’t even get me started on yule logs.

That’s about it for me. I do want to wrap it up by acknowledging eggnog as the reigning champion of festive drinks… maybe next time apple cider.

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