The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

Lunchables: a truly unparalleled culinary experience

Lunchables%3A+a+truly+unparalleled+culinary+experience

When eating lunch in elementary school, there was one meal that reigned supreme: Lunchables. I’m going to be taking a look back at the playground meal, and deciding which Lunchable is the best.

Imagine me, going to Wawa after school with a few of my friends, when out of the corner of my eye I spot something that I haven’t seen in years: a pepperoni pizza Lunchable.

Suddenly, I flash back to memories of eating that Lunchable at lunchtime all the way back when I was in preschool. I remember how much I used to love eating those stupid boxed meals, and I can’t help but wonder, would these meals be as good as I remember them to be?

Quickly, I buy the pepperoni Lunchable and head back to school. My friends look at me like I’m crazy as I try to explain why I’m buying food meant for toddlers. I convince them to try the Lunchable with me.

We sit down and eat the meal, giving our thoughts on what it tasted like, and how we remember it. To me, it was like a breath of nostalgia.

The taste of the sauce and the bread were exactly how I remembered them. I was brought back to a memory when I was seven eating the same Lunchable while talking to my mom about soup. That’s when I knew, I had to dig deeper.

Four Lunchables, two weeks, one winner. I was going to try two of four Lunchables each week for two weeks. Each week would have a Lunchable that I deem a winner and at the end of the week the two winning Lunchables would face off and I would crown the one and only “Ultimate Lunchable.”

I already talked about my first Lunchable, the classic pepperoni pizza. It completely blew me away, exactly how I remember it. There were a few downsides though, the actual pepperoni was repulsive.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for the plain pizza, but once you throw that cheap pepperoni pizza on there it goes from “get me mo” to “get me no.” The floppy pepperoni flat out doesn’t taste like real meat. I mean, it’s a Lunchable but they should at least try.

Next up, I tried the “6-piece chicken dunks.” I don’t really remember trying this one when I was younger, so I went into it blind. Right off the bat, this Lunchable came with a ton of other things.

This came with Kool Aid instead of Capri-Sun, and a package of Pringles in addition to two Hershey kisses. It seems as if some of the new Lunchables come with more extra snacks than some of the original ones.

I quickly ate the side things, and they tasted like Kool Aid, Pringles, and Hershey Kisses always taste like. The real moment of truth was the actual chicken. I took a chicken nugget out, and took a bite.

I swear to God, that bite of chicken was the most disgusting bite of food I have ever eaten in my entire life. It was squishy to the point of practically being a liquid. I was so incredibly disgusted I could barely swallow.

But, I knew I could not back out. I set out on a mission, I had to prove I was no wimp. I ate the entire chicken nugget. I then promptly threw out the other five. I have no idea how it’s legal to feed this to children.

My quest would end up being far more treacherous then I had ever could have imagined. The winner of the first week, by a landslide, was the original Pepperoni Pizza Lunchable.

Week two, and the stakes were higher than ever. For as long as I could remember, the Pepperoni Pizza Lunchable was my favorite. Would any of the following Lunchables have a chance?

The next one I tried was the Ham and Cheese sandwich. I had the lowest expectations for this one, but it actually ended up pretty okay. It was pretty good except for the bread. It just felt off. The actual bread looks like nothing like the box. The bread almost looks like the bread of a twinkie just bigger.

It tastes okay, just not like bread. I don’t really know what they were going for. The whole meal just really felt fake. I guess that’s okay for a Lunchable, but at least try to make it taste like some kind of bread.

The last Lunchable was the Deep Dish Pizza. This came with Cheez Its and a Fruit RollUp. This was it, the end of my journey, the final Lunchable. I closed my eyes, and took a bite. I never expected what happened next to happen.

This Lunchable was the greatest Lunchable I have ever eaten. It took the foundations of the original pizza and improved on it ten fold. With more bread and way more sauce, you could barely taste the disgusting pepperoni. It was everything I liked from the past amplified.

In the end, The Deep Dish Pizza won in a landslide. Not only was it a good Lunchable, but a good meal in general.

This was kind of a stupid thing I did, but it ended up being a lot more fun than I expected. Eating these Lunchables gave me a ton of nostalgia. If you have anything you ate when you were younger, go back and try it. You may have more fun then you would think.

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