Santa’s Wardrobe Malfunction


Dan Malloy

Looks like that beard might not be too real, after all.

I just wanted to get a glimpse of Santa riding his big red firetruck down the street that night, but I may have seen more than I wanted.

Back when I was a little kid, one of the best parts of the Christmas season for me and my siblings was seeing Santa Claus sitting on top of a wailing firetruck while handing out candy canes to each house in my neighborhood.

I never liked candy canes, but that’s not the point. I got to see Santa himself, in the flesh, right on my street. Not one of those fake Santas at shopping malls.

On one of those nights, back when I was 6, we did not get to see Santa in time, as he had just passed our house.

Naturally, I was not putting up with that.

So, we all got in the car and started to follow after the truck. It didn’t take a whole lot of time to find him, he was only a few streets over.

We pulled up to get a perfect view of him as he was going to each house on the other side of the street. There he was, on top of the truck, saying “Ho, ho, ho!” and waving.

It just so happens there was a huge tree right alongside the truck, and as the fire truck started moving again, a tree branch clotheslined Santa off his chair.

I was shocked at what happened and I waited to see what Santa would do next.

He got up and while the rest of his costume remained intact, the critical piece, the beard, seemed to have been knocked off. Who thought Santa was actually just a 20-year old dude?

My parents saved the day by covering our eyes, so the tradition was still intact because that would have been a hard one to explain.

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