The campus of Malvern Prep features a multitude of bathrooms, all conveniently located for students during their respective classes. Whether it be the classic Carney stalls, newly implemented CSI bathrooms, or more secretive locations, students have varying opinions on their preferred restroom on campus.

In a survey answered by 168 students, there was no clear cut winner in terms of preferred bathrooms. Upstairs CSI (22.2%) barely edged out its downstairs counterpart (18%) and the upstairs Duffy bathroom (18%). From there, results were mixed. Some bathrooms such as the chapel, Stewart, and Dougherty made their appearances on the list. There were even upper school students who admitted to using the Good Counsel bathrooms from time to time. 

The varying results of the survey should come as no surprise. With such a large and varying campus, students prioritize their privacy and are willing to go great lengths in order to complete their business. 

Junior bathroom connoisseur, Chance Steele, emphasized the importance of privacy while he uses the bathroom, “I love using the Duffy bathroom after school. It’s a great opportunity to get some peace and quiet from the hectic bathrooms near the classrooms… You’ll never catch me in the CSI, that place is overrated.” Steele was not too particular about which bathroom he preferred in Duffy. 

Chris Buysee, a senior at Malvern, had one bathroom on his mind, “the best bathroom on campus is obviously upstairs Duffy. The essence of quietness, roomy stall, and beautifully kept seats make this bathroom the best on campus and it’s not close. Occasionally you get a middle schooler, but other than that it’s extremely quiet, and absolutely the best place to do your business on campus.” 

Buysee also brought up fond memories of the O’Neill bathrooms throughout his years on campus.

“It’s always a party in O’Neill. The energy in those bathrooms is unbeatable if you catch them right after school, and you can always count on running into someone who will spark up a conversation,” he said. 

Throughout campus, there are few bathrooms that are rather unknown, beyond the secrecy of even the most coveted Duffy loos. Jack Carpenter ‘20 recalled his favorite spot on campus in a brief interview. 

“There’s all this talk about how private Duffy is, or how new the CSI is, but there is one bathroom that nobody thinks about: the swimming locker room… Any time during the school day you can count on complete privacy there. On top of that, it’s well maintained, and rather conveniently located,” he said. 

The results of these conversations and surveys were rather inconclusive. It’s clear that students have strong, varying opinions on their preferred business place. As campus continues to evolve, the bathroom game is constantly changing. At the end of the day, whether they fail a test, get in trouble, or are simply struggling through, Malvern students can always count on a beautiful restroom to use.