The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Student News Site of Malvern Preparatory School

Friar's Lantern

The Bowl, the Barstool, and Bad Apples

I hate the majority of the internet. I hate, hate, hate it.  Hate is a strong word, but I feel there is no other word to do my feelings justice. The word ‘loathe’ may suffice but ‘hate’ has got a great punch to it when deciding what the appropriate word is to use.

The internet is a hard thing to hate on a whole. It takes special practice on my part. We have this amazing and infinite source of all information, entertainment, and accomplishment. Years of perfecting computer codes and websites and the concept of email all coming together to form an epic piece of man made invention. How could I hate such a thing?  The answer lies with a site like Barstool Sports Philly.

I had never heard of Barstool before January 29 when an “article” about Malvern Preparatory School was posted on this “famous” blog. The “article,” and I wish I can put more quotations around that word, was in regard to students skipping school to go to Wing Bowl on Friday, January 31. Barstool reprinted a letter written by our Dean of Students, Mr. Dougherty, alerting parents to student’s plans on attending wing bowl and how, in order to be absent on Friday, students needed to have a call from their parent/s or guardian/s. The “““article””” defamed Malvern Prep, calling out Mr. Dougherty for using words like ‘gluttony.’

There are so many points I’d like to make.  I cannot finish all of them right now because I’m too busy not reading the musings of the millions of pointless bloggers and trolls that co-habitate the internet with the rest of us normal people.

I want to say that we have this great invention like the internet, but because humanity is so depraved and because people like the ones who write on Barstool or go to Wing Bowl, it turns into a cesspool of stupidity, playing to the ignorant tendencies of knuckle-dragging frat boys. I want to point out that in scrolling down Barstool’s website, one can be enchanted with stories of Justin Bieber and the hot women of the day. Boy, a website about nothing but pop culture news and attractive women, how truly groundbreaking.

In regard to the Malvern article, what does Barstool expect Malvern to do, let kids go drink freely during a school day and ogle women without so much as saying a word ? That is not what Malvern is about. Not everybody conforms to a standard that lets the demons of society run amok. Some people like to learn about things that are truly creative, funny, subversive, informative – and not people gorging themselves with chicken wings or articles about boobs.

Now do not confuse me as some PC liberal. I am no such thing. I believe every person should write and say whatever they want, but I’ll be damned if I do not have the right to tell you that something you say or do is stupid/detrimental to the greater good when it is.

Barstool makes me really angry, not solely because of the site itself but also because of what Barstool represents. It represents the rest of the dregs of the internet, like social media sites. I hate Buzzfeed, I hate what Twitter and Facebook and Vine represent because these turn the internet – something I cherish and kind of love – into something tainted and populated mostly by idiots, like much of the world. Idiocy marked by the meaningless crap and vapid opinions that get shuffled around the internet every single day, until nothing is sacred or cool anymore. Everything is a fad and a rehashed version of the thing we saw yesterday. Little is ever crafted with ingenuity or style, but much is brought down to the lowest common denominator so to grab the most attention. That’s why we get Buzzfeed lists and Barstool articles. Short, snappy, pieces of monumental crap about nothing that provide a glimmer of shallow entertainment in an ever darkening and more lonely world.

Barstool is a simple minded website that coincides with the rest of the bastions of ignorance, and the article about Malvern certainly falls in line with what the website believes in:  petty grievances, willful ignorance, and downright idiocy. Idiots call people out and ridicule them for using a word like gluttony because it doesn’t have a hashtag in it or refer to some pseudo celebrity. Malvern runs an experiment every day that pushes us to do something good with what we have, to try and carve out something special in the world with our gifts. Barstool attempts to make people who like the comedy stylings of Larry the Cable Guy laugh at some more quality fart jokes and enjoy poking fun at the physically handicapped. You decide who truly wins in the end.

The internet is not a bad thing, and just like the human race, we are redeemed everyday by people living and creating lives that are truly inspiring and awesome. Let’s not let a few bad apples ruin everything for the rest of us.


PS> To anyone at Malvern who reads Barstool, I am not calling you stupid. We all have our guilty pleasures. Also, for those who inevitably did go to Wing Bowl, I would just like to say Wing Bowl sounds great! It is a great way to spend a morning of hedonism followed by a night of self hatred, shame, and regret! Rock on WIP!

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  • J

    JohnFeb 1, 2014 at 12:36 am

    Hi Jake, thanks for taking the time
    to read this. I fully understand your complaint when I used “frat boy” to describe the type of person who would religiously read a site like BarStool as if it were presenting a viable source of news, information, and entertainment. Of course not all fraternities are filled with idiots, but the owrwhelming public perception of a frat boy is that of a young male student focused on drinking to excess and partying.Although I made this connection, in no way am I denegrating fraternities as a whole. Social clubs and closed knit groups are wonderful vehicles for making connections in college, but I think the connection of a stereotypical “frat boy” I made was indicative of the type of people who would enjoy the humor of a site like BarStool. People who enjoy low brow cheap humor aka young male twenty something’s with a “bro this site is sick, haha check out this babe they put on!” Now again, most fraternities do good and provide and excellent service for all those involved to get all they want out of college. But if you are trying to tell me that some If not most frats at colleges hold large parties and that those parties are made up of the stereotype I mentioned, then I guess I’ve been lied to by every college movie, tv show, article,or college student I’ve ever seen, read or met. So I have to stick by my statement but I see your point. I guess I could have said “the stereotypical knuckle dragging frat boy” to avoid any confusion or “some knuckle dragging frat boys”. That most likely would have cleared up any confusion. Thanks again and I hope I didn’t come off like a jerk in this comment.

  • J

    Jake McDonaldJan 31, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    I agree with some of this article, and I myself had to go to school instead of Wing Bowl when Mr. Whitney sent out an almost identical email to parents when I was a senior in 2010. But, I was a little offended when you used a derogatory term toward fraternity men. Still being in high school, you have no idea about the inner workings of a fraternity and the good service and philanthropy they do, much like Malvern Prep. I agree barstool’s article was slanderous and uncalled for, but you basically just did the same thing, insulting something or someone that you do not fully understand. What you did may be worse because that writer was representing barstool and you were representing Malvern Prep. I am not asking for an apology or anything but I suggest you watch your words when you write articles that anyone can see.


    “Knuckledragging Fratboy”

    PS It might surprise how many Malvern Prep alums join fraternities

  • A

    AnonymousJan 31, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    As a Malvern graduate who didn’t skip school to go to wing bowl I can say I regret that decision to go to class more than any other I’ve made in my life.