The Philly Phan’s Phrustration

Brendan Hallinan

Springtime in Philadelphia, usually the epitome in the life of the local sports fan, has become a desolate wasteland of mediocrity; no excitement, no buzz, no fun. In past years, we have been spoiled by a playoff run by the Flyers, a hot start by the Phillies, or at the very least a successful football team that we know will top the NFC East in only a few short months. Believe it or not, even the 76ers had their runs in the early 2000s, but most of us are too young to remember those teams’ glory days.

But those days are long gone. And I mean long gone. Cherish those bright orange Flyers’ playoff tees, the white Phillies Rally Towel, and the feeling of counting the Eagles’ wins with your fingers and toes. Please, try to remember these moments, cherish them, because they are “outta here” (Harry Kalas voice).

I am not being pessimistic; I’m just telling it like it is when I say that the Philly teams are just not that good. The Eagles are on the threshold of a potentially lengthy rebuilding process under a new coach, Chip Kelly. The Phillies will have to blow up their aging core group of stars after this year; however, that date could come sooner if they’re out of the playoff hunt by the trade deadline in July. The Flyers have been killed by head scratching moves by their general manager Paul Holmgren since their Stanley Cup run in 2010, and God only knows what kind of trouble the 76ers are in.

But don’t worry, all hope is not lost.  Who knows, maybe the Phillies can turn back the clocks over the next four months, steal a wild-card spot, and make a San Francisco Giants-like playoff run. Or Chip Kelly can become the first college turned NFL coach to win a Super Bowl since Jimmy Johnson in the early 1990s. Unfortunately, these two scenarios, and any scenario involving the Flyers or 76ers and success, are far-fetched.

So for now, try to hold back the frustration, anger, and maybe a couple tears as you watch the NHL and NBA playoffs and the MLB season this summer.  Seasons end.  The  pain won’t last forever.