Pre-Prom Pandemonium and Promposals


Mike McCarthy

Promposal: (noun) the act of attempting and failing to be creative when nervously asking a female to prom. Usually done with much sweat on one’s palms.

Yes gentlemen, it is yet again that dreaded time of year in which our minds are forced into creativity to come up with the infamous “promposals”. Should you go all out with an original “pun” and risk looking like a try-hard? Or maybe you should stay safe with a cliche promposal (but fortune does favor the bold)? Or will you be “that guy” who just calls or, even worse, sends a text?

Over the past number of weeks, many of Malvern’s juniors and seniors have been in a state of indecision and uncertainty as to the seemingly ever present question of “Have you asked anyone to prom?”
Some brave souls have embarked into the deep waters of the Promposal Sea. These courageous souls have dared greatly and won great victories to make the gods proud! For some of you struggling to still think of how to ask that special lady friend to prom, get your pen and paper ready for some notes.
Top Three Malvern “Promposals” of 2015

Rob DiCicco promposes with OMI inspired idea
Rob DiCicco promposes with OMI inspired idea

1. Top honors for this year goes to junior Rob DiCicco, who held nothing back when he dressed up in a genuine Villa cheerleader uniform to ask his special someone if she would be “his cheerleader” on May 9th. The determination and willingness to embarrass himself in front of his peers in the name of his “bae” are inspiring to us all.

2. Silver medal goes out to senior Phil Daubney. Daubney not only got his hands on a full bunny outfit to ask his beloved to the big shindig (or scare her into submission depending on how you feel about humanoid rabbits) but also came up with an extensive pun: “Before someBUNNY else asks you, I’d be very HOPPY if you would go prom with me.” Cuteness overload ensues.

Phil Daubney's promposal
Phil Daubney’s promposal

3. Rounding out the medal round is senior Nick Parente. Parente decided to avoid the “cute” angle, as exemplified by Daubney, and decided to go full scare tactic. Parente, conspiring with Villa’s principal, got his girlfriend called down to the office and “fake-chastised”. She was given a printout of her “punishments”, which included a day suspension, five detentions, and finally, the worst punishment of all, assigned to go to Malvern prom with Nick Parente. Poor girl.



Honorable Mentions

Doug Corsi (senior): Promposal during a Sacred Heart Academy assembly
John Iannuzzi (senior): manually inserting a small piece of paper with the word “prom?” on it into a fortune cookie, complete with resealed packaging.
Mike McCarthy (senior): Yes this is me. I’m really narcissistic so I felt the need to do this. I gave her a teddy bear, it was pretty adorable. Yea… so… like that was it.
Dave Lanetti (senior): Promposed dressed in a tuxedo speedo, top hat, and suspenders.
Pat Coffey (senior): text message